Detachment

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To be consistently effective, you must put a certain distance between yourself and what happens to you on the golf course. This is not indifference, it’s detachment. –  Sam Snead

By letting it go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try the world is beyond the winning. – Lao-Tzu

If you like the two sayings above, you might be wondering how you can train such an attitude within yourself. First you must really want it enough to train consistently. Then you must have an appropriate exercise and seek training opportunities. 

Consider that when you go out to the movies, it is to have an emotional experience. And that is fine. Perfect actually. It makes for a painless place to practice and when you are done, you’re done.

When you are in the depths of that experience, when you are fighting tears, or you feel anxiety, suddenly recall that you are in a movie theatre. Become aware. Look at the theatre around you, notice all the people staring, their emotions stirred as yours just were. This is an act of freewill and makes you stronger. But there is more.

It helps train you to objectify your emotions. One moment you are heavily involved emotionally, then the next you are back in the theatre. You have had a valuable experience. Now if you are ever in a situation, such as the movie creates, you can imagine you are in a theatre watching this movie of yours. 

Note what you just did. 

Then go back to enjoying the movie. Later we can reflect upon this exercise. For without training, such as this it can be very difficult to objectify a fear or trouble. It looms dark before and about you, and is like a stone in your gut. But if you are reacting physically, not sleeping, not being aware and even with your environment, then you will not be effective. The beast in your arena might win. 

At some time in the future you may look back upon this conflict and feel little or nothing about it. Other things will now occupy you. There are other beasts in your arena. 

You can use this. 

In the future, when a new beast drops into your arena, remember one you have dealt with in the past. There are really no trials that we, at some time, don’t get over. A divorce or a disease that wracked you, kept you up at night, destroyed your appetite, is now something you speak of lightly or joke about. 

Try to summon that dark time again. When you didn’t know how you were going to get out of your dilemma, and you were constantly under the lash of fear and doubt. Oh how you wanted someone to talk to about your nightmare. The future was gray fading into black. Try to remember all of that, and recall that now you are fine.

Read all of this again, then open your journal and write about the beast you are now facing, one you faced in the past, or both. In this manner you will gain strength and power, and when the next beast drops into your arena, and you return to your journal to prepare, you will have the pages you write today to strengthen you.

KAITZEN!